If you know me, or my writing, it’s clear that my oldest is where most of my inspiration is drawn from. He and I spent a lot of one on one time together. He was my silver lining on my darkest days. Case has always been my beauty in the broken.

I write constantly about experiences with pain, children, parenting and finding my Boaz. I love to write about how joy is found amongst suffering. This entry is no different. This one is about when you don’t recognize your child; the one you’ve known from their first breath.

I’ve often thought about : if I were the devil, how would I attack the youth. I would target all electronics: phones, iPads, social media, games. I would insert a little secrecy, a little crude humor, and a lot of “extras” to keep them busy. I would make music that they would sing into their souls. Music that has language, innuendo, but the beats are good. I would elevate celebrities as idols for them. I would decorate holidays with worldly things so that the message of Christ is missed.

I am guilty of all the things listed. I’m guilty of allowing the world to get a grip on my boy. I’ve allowed my guilt of missing half of his life to cater to this or that for my own comfort. I’ve allowed the devil to find him in his crosshairs. The boy who has a heart after God, Himself. I’ve become relaxed in my prayers. I’ve become stagnant in my defenses against the enemy. I’ve allowed my own shortcomings to now fall to my children.

The addiction to phones, tv, entertainment, toys, and all the other things that this world determines makes you a good parent. The way the world allows us to become lazy in our divine purpose. The way the example you set isn’t the example you intended.

Case has always been given a hand that requires him to be more mature, faster. In truth, my heart resented it because I felt he didn’t deserve it. God has always let me know that His purpose for Case is none of my business. He’s revealed to me that the calling of Case will crush him, and me.

The devil is relentless is his pursuit of my boy.

The boy who used to shower me with compliments now rolls his eyes with everything I say. The boy that would’ve chosen me over Mary now doesn’t see me in a room. The boy who used to call me his sweet, beautiful love can’t say “I’m sorry” when he’s wrong. The boy who used to want to go everywhere with me, now has to be bribed.

In my heart, the devil wants him so bad because he fears the man he will become.

He fears the soldier he will be; the souls he will win for Christ. He fears his divine love for his Creator. He fears the closeness of a mother and a son. I mean look at Mary and Jesus. He fears the ethics, morals, and values that we instill.

He will stop at nothing.

But, neither will I. I dedicated this boy in the name of Jesus, and I will spend my very last breath breaking my knees in prayer for him.

Parents, know your enemy, know their tactics, and be on guard. Seek first the kingdom of God. Pray your babies up because the devil wants them. Stand so firm on the foundation of Christ that enemy has to go through all of you before he can get to your kids.

A word to the enemy: Tread carefully when you mess with a Mama Bear and their cub. I plan to raise a warrior in Christ that recognizes your game. I plan to get blisters on my hands and knees pleading for an army of angels to wrap up my boy. I will know your face in every song, show, phone, and friend, and I will make sure he does, too.

My kids are not for sale to the highest bidder, the latest trend, or for worldly gain. The soul of my children won’t come at the cost of keeping up with the Joneses. I won’t play Russian roulette with their faith contradicting myself with idols of my own. Faith apart from works is useless. Lord, make me useful.

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

Lord, have Your way with Case. 🤍