It’s not a matter of “if”, but rather, a matter of “when,” someone betrays you. At some point, betrayal is a feeling everyone feels. The worst part about betrayal is that it never comes from our enemies. It comes from people we trust; people we love.

I happen to have a great track record of “kisses from friends.” The kind of friends like Judas. The kind that would sell you out for themselves in a hot second. The kind that would do harm behind your back, and hug your neck. The type of person you break bread with, only for them to break your heart.

It’s a sad realization when you regard someone so high, and they deem you so low. It feels so bad to turn the other cheek sometimes. It feels even worse to reconcile all you invested into someone that invested nothing in you. The feeling of betrayal is so devaluing. It will make you question everything up to the point of the betrayal; wondering if there was any authenticity.

In the past, I let this consume my mind, and my speech so much. It felt good to air out the dirty laundry of someone who had wronged me. I felt vindicated. To me, it felt like they got what they asked for. Wrong.

My grandmother told me something that shook me to my core. “Jesus died for them, too.” Whoa! Hold up, Mamaw. I immediately felt ashamed. I felt like I was no different than the unbeliever. There wasn’t anything separating the fruit I bore from their fruit.

I wasn’t rising above anything. I wasn’t controlling my speech; my tongue. I wasn’t breathing life into my spirit; my witness. I was slandering, and defaming someone, all in the name of “justice.” The worst part of it all is I felt like I was the only person in the world who knew how bad it felt.

Then there was Jesus. The One who hugged Judas, and fed him. The One who knew the entire time that Judas would betray Him. The One who sat and broke bread with someone He knew would sell him out for 30 pieces of silver. The One who knew He would receive a “kiss from a friend.”

What kind of restraint, obedience, composure, or love does it take to know someone is betraying you, and yet you still forgive them?? You forgive them without so much as an apology from them. You don’t run to John or James and gossip about it. You don’t tell Simon or Matthew to stay away from them. You simply forgive and forget; all things new.

It makes me feel gratefulness that I have self awareness of where to grow, and saddens me that I’m not there yet. I’m so happy God uprooted people out of my life, and ashamed I tried to fight Him on His way with my life. If I could go back, I would experience the betrayal again; all-knowing. I would forgive without an apology, and quicker. I would realize that the Will of the Lord, in the jungle, is better than anything else outside of it.

“If the world hates you, it hated Me first.”

Jesus experienced every bit of betrayal, bullying, defamation, slander, gossip, and some. He never retaliated; rather He prayed for them. He never got so angry that He brought all of Heaven down on those who wronged Him. He never hated them more than He loved them. He never once complained about His journey, or the trials along the way.

He handled Himself with poise, tactfulness, mindfulness, and love every day of His human life. He set the bar at the highest level. He knew that He couldn’t change the hearts of men behaving ordinary. He had to be extraordinary.

I’m so fond of the memories of my Grandmother, and her witness to me in the moments that were the lowest for me. I’m grateful that her advice to me was as simple as: “Jesus died for them, too.”

It took off a worldly lens where a spiritual lens should have been. She challenged me to rise above it, and take the power away, with forgiveness.

Remind yourself, constantly, of your worth. Leave anything that devalues you. Always make choices that align with your integrity. Drown out the chatters of negativity, and be so rooted in your faith that nothing shakes you. Be so rooted in your identity in Christ, that you are unshakeable. Someone died for you to live out the truth of your entire existence; to serve and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Because,

After all, at the end of the day, Judas ate, too.