I bounced back and forth between names because I wanted to represent myself authentically . I had narrowed it down to: The Lion and The Lamb and Dust to Dust. I had even sent out a poll vote to see what drew more attention, I guess, to my “audience.” During that time, I didn’t have a bite on any of my options. I’m assuming because that wasn’t what the name of this blog was intended to be. Then I thought about the things I had written, and when I had written them. It was “in the thick of it” that all of those emotions were put to paper.

The Thick of It when you’re an unwed, single mother, still in school.

The Thick of It when you carry a child to term, only for them to be born into Heaven

The Thick of It when you lose your mom to cancer, and find out you have the scariest cancer there is.

The Thick of It when you’re told you’ll never have another baby, only to have one ten years after your last child.

The Thick of It when you can’t have children, and go through infertility.

The Thick of It when you lose your mom and fiancé in a matter of weeks.

The Thick of It when you’re unfaithful to your spouse, and it kills you.

The Thick of It when you have to share your child in two separate homes.

The Thick of It when you lose your job, and have a family depending on you.

The Thick of It when a friend betrays you with a kiss.

The Thick of It when your child is diagnosed with something that breaks you to pieces.

The Thick of It when you hear silence, and feel sounds.

The Thick of It when doomed if you do, and doomed if you don’t.

The Thick of It when you have to love something or someone else more than you hate something or someone else.

The Thick of It when God uproots everything you’ve known, and makes you wait for something better.

The Thick of It when your olive is pressed for oil. Your diamond is under so much pressure. Your pearl lies at the bottom of the ocean amongst the muck.

The Thick of It when the thought of something breaks your stride and steals your joy.

The Thick of It when a parent signs their rights away from you, as a child.

The Thick of It when your partner of ten years decides it’s over and gaslights you, all while having an agenda.

The Thick of It when the enemy attacks you, and everything you love, and doesn’t let up.

The Thick of It when it feels like God is distant; like you’re unseen

The Thick of It where you have everything by the standards of the world, and feel empty inside.

The Thick of when it feels like your chest has a weight on it and you couldn’t breath if you tried.

The Thick of being powerless to circumstances beyond your control.

The Thick of how the refining process feels.

The Thick of holding on and letting go.

I’m sure “the thick of it” didn’t feel good when a single, unwed mother carried the King of all Kings while riding on a donkey. I’m almost positive “the thick of it” delivering a baby in a stable felt as low as it gets. But, nothing compares to the THICK OF IT when you’re born to die for someone else that may or may not love or even like you. The Thick of It never feels good, fair, or just. But, that’s where He meets us.

The Thick of It